Bottom

Posted: July 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

What she needed more than anything
Was to not need him
She was starting to fall again
This time it might be better
To let her hit the floor

So terrified to make a move
Her feet are burned into the ground
And she’s going nowhere fast

Anxiety with one prescription
Destructive doses provided
And she is hooked
Needle cemented into her vein
No safe way to detach, relapse
An unforgettable high
An unforgiving high

The screaming could penetrate his armor
Hundreds of miles away
He’ll crumble in need around her
Falling faster than before
Just let him hit the floor
There’s nowhere left for them to go

But up

I Would

Posted: July 16, 2014 in Poetry
Tags: , , , , ,

I would choose you
In fact, I think I already did
You asked me why
And made me use my words to respond out loud
Forced me to rip my words off this paper written with invisible ink
And I shouted them in our quiet space after hours

You asked me why
And you held your breath while you waited for me to answer…

And then you listened
And didn’t forget

You didn’t know you were changing me
And I didn’t know it (then) either
But here I am, seven years later
Confining my words to paper
With a different kind of ink

You taught me better than this

In the shadow of my love for you, I hide
Secretly hoping you’ll find me here
Because you still wonder why
And you still want the answers
And you’re willing to listen

Always

I looked up and expected to see stars
Arranged in the shape of your face
an arrow pointing North telling me
Exactly which direction to go tonight

But these nights I lose my grasp
On our pretend happy ending
It’s darker than I wanted it to be
Much too dark to find my way

I pushed it down below, down below
These melodies pull thoughts top side
And I’m surrounded here, suffocated here
And I looked up and expected to see stars…

But these nights I lose my grasp
On our pretend happy ending
It’s darker than I wanted it to be
Much too dark to find my way

Looking for light at the wrong time tonight
It’s too dark to find my way (2x)

And these nights I lose my grasp
On everything we should have been
Everything we could have been
Everything we ARE

Easier to forgive
But how do you forget yourself
Stationary styles allows too much
Time for re-evaluation

Keep moving
Don’t decorate into permanence
It’s too hard to tear it all down

//Blank walls all around me
The color sucked dry
Don’t get too comfortable, dear
We only have tonight//

Not so easy to forgive
When you can’t forget yourself
Don’t repeat the same mistakes
Lesson learned, I won’t forget if I…

Keep moving
Don’t nail anything down
It’s too hard to rip it all out

//Blank walls all around me
The color sucked dry
Don’t get too comfortable, dear
We only have tonight//

The color bleeds out of my skin
Need pressure
To hold myself together
You paint murals with what I leave behind
But I won’t be there to see it

*because I’m surrounded by*

//Blank walls all around me
The color sucked dry
Don’t get too comfortable, dear
We only have tonight//

…we never had tonight

[2.21.14 | Vegas]

Haley James

Dioxide

Posted: October 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

Consumed again
I almost welcome
this suffocating
embrace

We breathe better
When we share
The same oxygen
Tonight

The stars are bright
…again
But don’t they
Explode with light
Before they die?

Just a few notes and I am gone
Gone to another space
So far from this place
I no longer breathe oxygen

I breathe melodies
So hauntingly sweet
That bring me to my knees
I am yours this time

Stuck in this trance
And my breath catches
On those guitar strums
My heart beats to the bass drum and…

I breathe melodies
So hauntingly sweet
That bring me to my knees
I am yours tonight

My blood races
Through my veins
The climax approaches
My skin tingles and…

I no longer breathe oxygen
Just sweet melodies
Down on my knees
Take me for the night

I no longer breathe oxygen
Just sweet melodies
Down on my knees
Take me for the night

I lay here choking on
What use to be the scent of you
A year has passed me by
And everything’s changed
But it’s all the same

I’m spinning still
Underneath these absent stars
An illusion never felt so right
Except those few nights
I woke up lying next to you
Woke up lying next to you

I lay here reminding
Myself to exhale
Every once in a while
After freezing on the thought of you
But there’s no “u” in “us” here any more

I’m spinning still
Underneath these absent stars
An illusion never felt so right
Except those few nights
I woke up lying next to you
Woke up lying next to you

I’m spinning still here
I’m spinning still here
I’m spinning still here

Your scent lingers
Underneath these absent stars
An illusion never felt so right